Bolt Thrower; Combining Warhammer 40,000 motif and forming a band around it, you're pretty much going to come up with the
most metal band ever. Puts hair on your chest, even if you're a woman. Makes you hungry for red meat covered
in your enemy's blood. Makes you grow extra testicles. Best listened to in the nice glowing warm light of machine
gun fire bursts. Good background music for bathing in the guts of your fallen opposition. Goes swimmingly with pounding mortyr fire.
Hymns for total victory. No prisoners.
If you can find anything more metal than this, then I challenge you... Bring it on! We'll do war!
Got Caught Stealin... Once. Posted January 6, 2013
Ahh... Good ol' Looking Glass Studios. Creators of the thinking man's First Person Shooter. Deep, immersive
games that make you forget about the clock until you cringe when you remember you've got to get up for work the
next morning and it's now pushing 5am. Yeah, tomorrow's going to be a sick day I think. Quality through-and-through. What's their Persian flaw then? It'd
have to be the fact that nearly every game they decided to reinvent themselves. Sometimes this fucked up gloriously
in an earth-scorching fireball
as in Terra Nova or the
horrible torture device that is the control scheme of System Shock. Their design
philosophy was something like "Let's throw this at the wall and see if it sticks, explodes, or maims an employee".
But, when it worked, boy did it work.
Thief is one of the better examples of it actually working. Compared to RPG-like games like System Shock
and the seriously fantastic RPG series Ultima Underworld, Thief is far more stripped down. But they took that stripped down
core and sharpened it into a weapon. All that RPG stuff? Yeah, toss that in the dumpster. What's left?
Hmmm... Just walking around. Now what? Ok, let's crank up the AI, make sneaking a priority, take into account
the amount of light available and the noise you make, have mission objectives that need to be met, and have you
loot and kill along the way. Yeah, that sounds about right. That's Thief in a nutshell. Sounds pretty simple
right?
Wrong! They combined these factors together into something truly awesome. For one, you don't need to do the mission
objectives in the order they're listed. Nice nonlinear play that doesn't mollycoddle you like a retarded child. Mind you,
this is not Doom. The frontal assault will get you roundly crushed pretty much every time. Time to be
inventive. Find the secret entrance. Scale a wall and go in through the back. Discretion is the better part
of valour and all that sneaky stuff. Oh yeah, don't forget to stab some guards in the back or club them with a blackjack while you're at it. Just be
quiet about it, damn it! Get your head back in the game. What, do you want to give us all away or something? Shhhhh!
